Paper Rose

Born with a curse divine, borne the wrath of poets

You take no pains to tell your tale.

Stripped off freshness you are as fresh as yesterday, every day.

 

Dew drops on your petals smudge your skin

A drop of tear in the cheeks of time sans the resplendence

Far cry from your cousins tended by a gardener

You assume all your glories at one shot, once and for all

Impeccable, a perfect stroke of the creator’s brush.

 

Thorns embellish that poet’s muse, but find no room in your heart

Your attempt at hurting is feeble, the sharp edges cannot hide their tenderness

They just need the touch of love, of the one who you adorn.

 

Damn the poet who mocked the absence of fragrance in your soul

If olfaction is an investment, hunt  for Mary Jane !

 

Those who you blessed, by being their Paper Rose

Are deranged if they are still in pursuit of a rosy rose

Which decays, stenches and gets confined to pages of a book

Dried to the bone, stimulating poetic endeavours.

 

While for those with the intelligence to decipher your message

You endure, You haunt, You hum the timeless melody of love.

Dunce

What a dunce I have been?

Building a wall around me and calling it hallowed

Limiting my consciousness when it could expand far and wide

Training my eyes to look for the obvious, to look skin deep

When it could see worlds beyond this

Why turn to ethereal pleasures, when their destinies lie in smoke

Why force the spirit to ignore what it revels in

Why stop the heart from beating for the beloved

And allow the poisons of ego to trickle

Peer pressure says thou, soul stench says me!

 

Telephone Tower!!!

The first you would see of College of Engineering and Technology, Bhubaneswar(I left out Ghatikia as it sounds un-cool), my alma mater, is this tall telephone tower perched at the middle of the 120 acre campus. It looks gigantic unlike the ubiquitous towers built on top of high-rises(Bhubaneswar has its share of so called high-rises ). We walked past it everyday on our way to the class, ignoring it. There is this strange road which starts from the workshop area then bifurcates into two in a way which reminds you of Deewar(Remember the road near the temple;Shashi Kapoor took right, Amitabh left-How symbolic!!). The roads flanked the tower and the stage with the ramp(Which looked like a stage only during fests)and voila, they met again. The fusion creating a much wider road which doubled up as a tennis court(No match has ever been played here….it’s a tar road), and a basket ball court(It has hosted many matches, so what if it is a tar road) and a cricket ground(the gentleman’s game has the flexibility of being hosted on any surface).

Coming back to the telephone tower, it was a source of inspiration for me. I looked at its tip(which actually is a protection against lightening) everyday as I walked down from the bus-stop to class. It gave me a sense of aiming high and the associated kicks.The iron ladder leading to the top was a tempting sight.I have been acrophobic but somewhere within I wanted to scale this summit(Or the receiver at the top) to give a fillip to my ego(I guess mountaineering appeals to this need).

Everyday this temptation stuck me as I walked past the tower, but I controlled it till it became an urge.My first attempt took me 10 ft above ground level.The mission was halted due to a professor who had eyes sharp enough to spot a student climbing the tower rather than a repair worker. The soft clay cushioned my desperate jump and off I ran….

I had not entirely gave up the idea of a retry but sense prevailed as my craziness was smothered by the sensibilities of a person who I spent most of my time in college with.3 years went by….No more attempts.

Then came my day or rather night.Spending nights on campus had become a habit in the final semester as friends shifted to hostels inside campus.Some of them had already claimed the peak which I could have scaled first had the professor not spotted me 3 years earlier!!!The motivation was no more there, but just to set the record straight(Like the critics pointing to Tendulkar not scoring vs. Zimbabwe in Zimbabwe),I decided to climb the tower.

The operation had 2 of my close friends with me one of whom had already scaled the summit.We climbed up the iron ladder which was dead vertical.I could see two thin hands clinging hard to the foot hold below me and slippers and a flowing pair of shorts above.The climb continued, we reached a ledge and took a breather-40 ft above msl. The next ledge was at 100 ft msl and by the time we reached there, our arms were throbbing with pain.I had definitely not grown lighter in 3 years.From that height,everything around us looked scary.The tallest tree on campus was far below us and the buildings looked like matchboxes. One of my friends decided against continuing while the 2 of us moved on.Just as I was laughing at the timidity of my friend who stayed back, I realised that the tower was swaying in the wind.We still had 30 ft to climb and it seemed to me that a mighty gale will blow us off the tower and off the face of the earth, am more likely gory end was the tower falling down taking us with it.

Looking down I saw my friend climbing carefully down the ladder, looking up I saw the summit and due to the sheer fear of being teased by friends if I gave up the climb, I took the ladder and sort of rushed through the last few rungs.Summit scaled!!!Weight off my back,then the sudden realisation that the weight rather be there or I could be blown off from the top by ghastly winds.

The view of the city from the top was surreal. National Highway, Khandagiri hills and trees looked magnificent. So did the stars. I was infinitesimally closer to them now.Thanked my partner in the climb before taking some snaps(Just in case you doubt this story) and we were having a good time till a frail sound reached us. No surprises, our friend who gave up the climb had reached msl and was cursing at us.We responded to the pleasantries appropriately.Strangely, the strong winds made the swearwords sound sweet.With one final inspection of the world around us from 130 ft above msl we returned to the base station.The descent was much tougher than the ascent. Remember that joke?…Khudi ko kar buland itna chadha woh jaise taise, Khuda ne bande se kaha, “Abe, ab utrega kaise?”

The peak was scaled, a dream was fulfilled,a goal became a place to rest.Surely there should be taller ambitions in life!!!But for the time being, I still enjoy looking at the tip of the tower whenever I get a chance to visit my alma mater

Redemption

This time I promise to keep it lighter… and the blogs will be more frequent henceforth.

Flashback……..15 July 2003

7 a.m.- Dad: “I think it is time for you to wake up.” Mom:”Let him sleep some more.” Me thinking:”Can you have that arguement in another room?”

8 a.m.-Dad:”All documents ready?”Me Thinking:”You should know better.” Me: “Yes, Of course.”

9 a.m.-(Buxi Jagabandhu Bidyadhara(B.J.B.) College

Roll number 103S177, selected…Dad:”Well done my boy”, Mom:”You should thank God, He is great”

Me: “Can we go to my school now?”

Yes, I had got an admission into the prestigious B.J.B. College for my pre-university education. I was elated, so were my parents and so were the 527 others who got selected that day. Strangely I was missing something. My school. Sri Aurobindo Institute of Integral Education. I had studied there for 12 years and it had shaped me and in a way still continues to do so by its idealism. But my formal association with it was just about to end. That very day was my batch’s farewell on the school’s 33rd foundation day.

On the morning of the foundation day there is a ritual which is observed there every year. Students leaving school welcome the incoming nursery students with a lighting of candles. I always loved that when I was in school and that day due to my new-found success, I had to miss it. Cruelty of fate!!!(It is just not done dude…err.. Fate)

In the evening I attended the farewell function in school. It was a rainy evening; the mood matched the nostalgia in my soul. Every outgoing student was felicitated by the chief guest amidst loud applause in the function. Farewells are the only occasions where you are cheered like a “Man of the match”(or woman-see, that’s what you call gender sensitivity).

Two big awards are presented on that occasion every year. one to the student scoring highest marks in the board exams and the other to the Imran Khan/Gary Sobers/Jaques Kallis of the batch. And the twain never met. Every year 2 different guys received the honours. No prizes for guessing who got the awards that day(Otherwise this article would not have been written!!!).

Joy, Pride, Kodak Moment……….Dad and Mom standing 30 yards away sure were elated. My teachers happy..

Me……I transcended a thousand emotions. The achievement was first threatened, then emulated and then surpassed by a stronger feeling. Nostalgia! It was not the moments I had at school which haunted me, it was just the sheer disbelief that from tomorrow I would not be a student of that institution. The pangs shot deep into me. It was a haze…too much to bear for a 15 year old.

7 springs have passed by. The Lotus has been replaced by the hand, Dhobi has taken Dada’s place, we have free incoming on our cellphones now and Chicken rolls now cost Rs. 40/-

I have changed. So has the world around me. But that rainy day still haunts me and so do the myriad images that made my world for 12 long years.

Warm wishes to my school  on its 40th Birthday!!!

Here Lies A LOSER !!!

I am sorry for being dormant for so long. After a hiatus of 1 year, I am venturing to write again. A lot has happened since my last post. I am at the so called “Place to B” i.e. Indian Institute of Mangement Bangalore. Time for some confessions. I don’t know why fate took this turn. After harbouring ambitions for being a researcher and striving hard to go to the US for further studies for so long, I don’t understand how things came about and why I chose to get into management. I hope it turns out to be the correct move.

IIMB is a great institute. I realized why it is said to be in a league of its own after experiencing the processes myself. It gives one a plethora of opportunities in terms of career, academics and life as a whole. One has only to make a decision which opportunity to explore. Being in the company of some of the brightest in the country, guided by ‘God-level’ professors in a fabulous campus, one can only get better. I am not sure whether I have taken full advantage of these near-utopian conditions yet, but hope to do just that.

What bothers me, surprisingly after so many windfalls, is that I am feeling out of my comfort-zone. Not because of the academic rigours nor due to any nagging personal problem. I somehow seem to have lost touch with myself. This is precisely the reason I abstained from writing since long. The ‘brook’ seems to have fallen into a stagnant lake. All this happened slowly and I never realised my inner changes while it was all kind of a dream-run externally. I am amused that all this while I was advising people about their lives while I was losing a part of me.

Apologies for yet another self-centered agony-strained writing. I am feeling a little low and I regret certain acts and certain decisions which account for this slipshod state. But, to be honest I do not want my epitaph to say, “Here Lies A Loser”

You Can’t Be Past

There is a woman behind every successful man.I have seen both successes and failures in life but there was and is a girl whose vibes have always been with me.I tried to forget her,to move on,to start afresh…but she has always been the fresh whiff of air in my life since the day we met,hence it was in vain.To the girl who is my inspiration,to the girl who taught me the meaning of Love…..

One rainy morning,when you strolled into the woods

To feel the rain-pearls trickle down your eyebrows,

And to take in the fragrance of moistened earth,

A small mud-pool came under your feet

Catching you unawares.

You shook off the mud smiling at yourself

And hopped off with a little worry for your mud-strained footwear.

The woods weathered many a storm,

Shrubs and grasses cropped up unabated.

One day,as the sun shone brightly,

An old man walked across the forest.

Dragging his feet as fast as his shoes,

Poor Chap,tripped over a small hole.

As he gathered himself and examined the culprit,

He  saw the shape of a footprint,and said,

“It must have rained when someone walked past here.”

Musings on practicality

“Practicality is now our great idol, which all powers and talents must serve. Anything that is not obviously practical has little value in today’s world.”

As we march into the new millennium, one fundamental perspective of the human race has undergone a sea change. We are ushering in the era of practicality. Gone are the days of theories and hypotheses, gone are the times of ideas that amazed only the intellect but never touched the lives of people. Practicality has become the order of the day and thoughts and visions that diverge from the interest of the human development are on the verge of extinction.

The reasons for the above are quite clear. With the burgeoning population, nations are finding it difficult to cope up with problems more complex than ever. To address national issues such as poverty, unemployment and food shortage, governments in the third world countries are resorting to action plans that bring about immediate but temporary change. Most of these plans are stopgap measures which translate into national policies over the years. Clearly, there is no time to ponder over the problem and come up with economic theories which have doubtful viabilities .For addressing global warming ‘carbon credit system’ was introduced in the United Kingdom which earns the industries pounds for the amount of carbon emission they reduce. This is a pragmatic measure by the government as against enforcing regulations to cut down emission thus incurring the wrath of the industry.

As mentioned above, the increasing population has led to more competition. This is perceivable in the corporate wars, in the intra firm conflicts and even in classrooms.

In the famous Hollywood flick ‘Pirates of the Silicon Valley’, the clash between Apple computers and Microsoft Corporation is analyzed. According to the movie, they acquire the idea of graphical user interface (GUI) from another firm which was using it inside, develop it as their own. Although plagiarism is hinted, no one can take the steam out of the fact that they showed the world the practical usage of the GUI and the rest as they say is history.

Earlier, due to lesser number of students per class, the teacher could judge each of their abilities minutely and evaluations and appreciations were based on that. But due to the surge in the number of students and lack of good teachers, the number of students per teacher has become unbecoming. As a result the teacher has fewer parameters to judge his pupils. Some who realize what the teacher is looking for, do just that much and excel while others following the traditional way of learning suffer. Practicality strikes again.

As the above illustrations indicate, practicality has become the order of the day. Anything which does not have a hint of practicality has little value in today’s world. But , having said that, one must look at the flip side. Too much emphasis on practical ideas may hinder the development of pure theoretical analysis which may prove to be of great utility in future. By classifying ideas as ‘bookish’ or ‘idealistic’ one might hamper the shaping up of better ideas.

To keep pace with the fast changing times, one has to be realistic, but to support this pragmatism there must be a theoretical basis. The problem with most of us is we don’t see the theory behind the practical. Yet, due to mounting environmental, political and social pressures the change of our attitudes to embrace practicality seems inevitable.

The Exodus of The Spirit

A poor chap he must be

To watch his own soul flit

For he lives a grisly existence

After the exodus of the spirit

Ages he knew it was coming

Yet he refused to budge

Till the microscopic thread snapped

And he headed for the dungeons

Is there a solution?

Of course there is,’cause that belief caused the death

Chronic arrogance and acute inertia,says the autopsy

As the last hint of the soul disappears

Ever so slowly,as if demanding a redemption

The poor chap watches,hands folded

Down on his knees for Intervention

Perspective on Wisdom

Wisdom is attributed to those who know what to overlook rather than what to look for

In this fast-moving and ever-changing world where the Darwinian theory of survival of the fittest holds true even for day to day life, the definition of wisdom has seen a sea-change .Wisdom, the beacon of true knowledge belongs to those who know what to overlook rather than to those who know what to look for.

Knowledge, as they say, is an ocean, and nobody has gauged its lengths, breadths or depths. Albert Einstein, arguably the greatest scientist ever, once said that he knows only a bucket-full of the entire ocean called knowledge. However true the above fact is, it is obvious that Einstein definitely knew what to overlook more than he knew what to look for. There are many anecdotes about his forgetful manner and his limited knowledge of mundane things. He definitely knew what to overlook.

Similar is the case of world’s most famous fictional character, Sherlock Holmes. The acute reasoner and infallible detective that he was, Mr. Holmes knew very little of politics, history and astronomy. He was unaware that the earth orbits the sun. Yet, his knowledge of the realms that belonged to his line of work was astounding. He once famously said that human mind is like a drawer, and once you put something in, something has to move out. Hence, it is essential to overlook things that are of no use to us.

Einstein and Holmes are the quintessential ‘wise men’ according to our perspective because they knew what to reject rather than what to accept. Researches have shown that an average human being comes across thousands of new information every day. Had one kept everything that comes on one’s way, the so called ‘drawer’ would soon be flooded and the odds are that one might lose valuable information while retaining the inessentials.

The ‘wise man’ of the past often perceived to be a ‘living library’, was actually someone who was good at everything in his domain. History was written time and again by this ‘wise-man’ who concentrated his efforts on his goals rather than trying his luck at everything that came his way.

Wisdom is no more the monopoly of academicians as it was perceived earlier. Everybody in his or her own domain contributes to collective wisdom. Hence, it is essential for everybody to follow the right approach to decision-making under all circumstances thus playing his or her part in enrichment of this collective wisdom.

In a practical scenario, in some manufacturing industry for instance, finding the best way or best solution is often a futile exercise. The word BEST is a misnomer. Progress is a continuous phenomenon and what seems to be the best today may not be the best tomorrow. A pragmatic approach is to explore all the possible options and eliminate them on-by-one. The last surviving option is the method to be adopted.

It is often easy to eliminate than select. Nature itself follows the principle of elimination than selection. As Holmes would put it, “If we eliminate all possibilities which are definitely incorrect, the remaining possibility however unrealistic is true.” Wisdom, over the years has been attributed to people who understood what is definitely not desirable and took the path that survive this exercise of elimination.

The place of ‘I’

While trying to learn new words from a popular word-power book, I stumbled upon the root of the shortest word in English-’I‘. The word has its root in Latin as ego. Both these terms describe a rather negative breed of persons, such as, egoists, egotists, egocentrics and egomaniacs. Without indulging in the spiritual discourse of “So-aham”, and the identification of oneself with the divine, I would like to present a materialistic viewpoint.

Let me ask one simple question. When was the last time you felt really elated and experienced the inner joy and satisfaction? Was it the last time you topped in an exam or you were praised for your outstanding efforts? If your answer is Yes think again. Was it not the fact that you felt that your job is over or you proved your critics wrong? Here lies the crux of the whole matter, the basic question that whether it was YOU who actually got the pleasure or is it always that you choose a frame of reference to gauge your satisfaction and joy.The place of ‘I’ in the world comes to picture in this context. Very few actually understand what their ‘I’ wants.

In this fast-moving world, the focus is more on the relative than the absolute. The yardsticks have become relative and it has shaped the mindset of a generation accordingly. There is this buzz about ‘the competitive edge’ and the Darwinian philosophy of ‘survival of the fittest’. It is indeed the need of the hour due to the ever-increasing demands and ever-diminishing supplies. The issue of ‘I’ being lost in the crowd maynot be raised at all. But the alarm bells can be heard from the suicidal tendencies of today’s generation which finds its ‘I’ lost in the demands of the world.

What does the ‘I’ want? One needs to give sufficient time to one’s own ‘I’ to find this out. But this is difficult as some are actually afraid to do so, some procrastinate and are never able to do so and some think it is useless. There is also this feeling that one needs to go with the crowd and be a ‘team-man’ rather than indulging in this farcical occupation. People think that thinking about oneself is a sin of sorts which earns one the tag of ‘egoist’ or ‘introvert’. Having said that I must point out that people mostly think about themselves most of the time but they usually see the crust and are unable to penetrate it and analyze the core. They never satisfy their I’s actual wants but channelize their energy in being what the others want hem to be or at least that is what they believe,because others are hugely engrossed in thinking about their own ‘I’s too.

The solution is not as complex though. It is advised that every problem in physics should be approached by first selecting an appropriate frame of reference. The whole quandary about ’I’ can be solved by taking a similar approach and affixing a frame of reference. The problems related to ‘I’ must be dealt with by taking the actual frame of reference of ‘I’. It doesnot make one an self-centered maniac or all the ego-x  definitions mentioned above. Rather it helps to turn ego-x s into individuals  who understand themselves better to avoid being intolerable to others.

Taking the spiritual paradigm, it is indeed true that the universe is centered at ‘I’ which is indeed a manifestation of the cosmic infinitude.